You see, the thing is, right� that I just don�t �get it�. Whatever �it� is, I definitely have not �got�, nor is it likely to be �gotten� any time soon.
This weekend I had a good friend of mine from Blackpool stay over with me in my Luxury Westminster Apartment, as he was running the London Marathon and needed a place to stay. This was great because we hadn�t seen each other for a very long time � since last May, and that was only a short visit. Before that I hadn�t seen him for around two years. His name is Steve, and I promise you that he is a good friend despite me having more frequent contact with people I don�t even regard as acquaintances, and this is one of the things I just don�t get � if we�re good friends, why do we ignore each other so successfully? Doh! Must sort this out. I must impose myself on his warm, clean and happy household outside the M25 this summer. I swear, Blackpool is so far away you can�t even get there by tube!
Hoping to be a good host and do the right thing, I wanted to give Steve the bed to sleep in and I would be quite happy sleeping on the floor. My Luxury Westminster Apartment is a place unlike any other, and boasts the most fabulous view of St Gabriels Church across the road, however I do not have a sofa that I could sleep on because of the inverse dimentional relationship that affects my apartment � spacetime in my Luxury Westminster Apartment is warped so as time increases, space decreases. The longer I stay there, the smaller it gets, and so instead of a sofa I have an exquisite minimalistic wooden chair which was designed and made by a commercial company more than ten years ago, probably somewhere in Europe. The chair is highly sought after, and Mummy-Wendy has shown an interest in sitting on my chair, although she must respect the waiting period and booking lead up required for scheduling the sitting session. And this is another thing that I just don�t �get�. Where has my space gone to? Time is also missing, but it�s not as much of a priority as finding space.
So, yeah, Shelley came over and stayed for the long weekend and Steve, Shelley and I stayed in my Luxury Westminster Apartment. Where could we all sleep? I should sleep on the floor because I�m the host. Steve should sleep on the bed as he is running the marathon and where could Shelley sleep? The chair? The corner? The ceiling? None of these seemed appropriate, so Steve slept on the floor and Shelley slept in an ever smaller nook of air between me and the wall, making her claustrophobic, sick, panicky but really sexy in a half-dead and desperately nervous kind of way. I �got� it then. Yay.
But the major things I just don�t �get� are � Why run a marathon? Yes I know, because the training keeps you fit and healthy, extending your lifespan, reducing stress levels, making you happier and because running is cheaper than going to the cinema, especially in Leicester Square because it�s now �12 a ticket. Bastards. But why else? Why would 60,000 people this weekend all train to run the same distance at the same time in the same place, pay a fee, travel from all around London (and sometimes from even further afield like St. Albans or Luton) and be together to exhaust themselves thoroughly? Why, when you have the freedom to run this distance on your own at any time of the day, week or year. Or even to run a distance you choose. Or even in a place that you decide? Why? Why do you have to do it with everyone else? The cheers from the crowd is motivating and uplifting and the first aid support is important. The abundance of free sweets, drinks and the availability of toilets is important too. But are they really necessary to run 26 and a bit miles? Don�t get me wrong � I�m not putting down organised marathons, in fact I am quietly determined that I�m going to do the next one. But after that � how about running an unassisted marathon in a place and time of my own choosing� along the banks of Lake Windermere � it�s flat, scenic, and there are plenty of places for drinks and refreshments. Heaven.
At the moment I feel strong, like I want to run out in front away from the pack and �get on with it�. It could be that my new wedding video business is looking so promising or it could be that I�m finally getting my life sorted out or it could be that I have a strange little monkey toy on my desk and it�s constant staring at me is causing unexpected effects, but whatever it is, this is what I want more of. I feel great at the moment, despite not having any money. But it will change when I get paid on Saturday and so will I.
Yeah. Whatever. I�m sick of words and I�m off to go edit a video. As long as it looks good and sounds nice then that�s ok. Yesterday I watched a bit of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon while windows was installing on my computer, so I had free time, and I had the subtitles turned off and the language set to Mandarin. I just made up my own mind about what they were fighting about. Actually, it doesn�t even matter why they fight, just so long as they do. What am I going on about now? I have been driven mad by my monkey.
On Cha!!!!!