One day, a squirrel ate a magic nut, unknowingly gaining special powers and abilities, and went home to his trendy hole in a tree where he lived with his two squirrel tree-mates, Jazz and Blues.
Jazz and Blues welcomed Hip-Hop, the oblivious super-squirrel into the hole by chucking him a tiny can of Grolsch from their little squirrel sofa where they watched squirrel TV on the latest flatscreen, widescreen, surround sound plasma TV.
"Cheers matey" squeaked Hip-Hop, taking off his leather jacket and slurping his beer.
Jazz and Blues turned in surprise to each other and each cocked an eyebrow. Neither Jazz or Blues, being widely travelled and well-educated little squirrels, had heard a fellow squirrel ever speak English before, and were amazed at Hip-Hop's new ability to speak.
It could have been the sudden feeling of fear that came over them - that they would now be expected to engage each other in conversation (this is something that trendy squirrels just didn't do) or it could have been the feeling of inadequacy they now felt due to the comparable greatness of their squirrel friend Hip-Hop, but what happened next is this - Jazz and Blues pulled out sub-machine guns from under the trendy sofa and launched heat seeking missiles from the television remote control. They fired on Hip-Hop the squirrel until he was a bloody mess, dripping down the tree.
Jazz and Blues winked at each other and turned back to the television.
Nobody ever interrupted Eastenders again.