Considerations of the Caf� Mocha.
Coffee. Chocolate.
Chocolate. Coffee.
Heaven.
As a simple boy from Lankysestershire up north, way way past Watford Gap, I was brought up to appreciate Cadburies Drinking Chocolate, and later on ( as a simple young adult ) I also enjoyed the delights of coffee, even though I had to sacrifice my marshmallow dunking to blend in with the caffeine obsessed friends of mine.
When I came down from �The North� I parked my donkey in a mysterious place called �Outside the M25� and followed the golden paved roads to the bright bright lights of Pimlico, where I now live in my Luxurious Westminster Apartment.
To my horror, the �locals� seemed to drink a strange beverage which they called a caffay mocka ??? So I didn�t try it because I didn�t know what it was. Little did I know that my two favourite things would be blended together in the same mug and given a silly name. To my delight, after going through the menu at the nearest Starbucks from my home (London) I sampled for the first time a wonderful concoction named the Gingerbread Latte. Mmmm� the White Chocolate Mocha� and I even tried a Frappachino and regretted it because I didn�t know it was a cold drink made with ice and it was � 257 degrees outside. The only thing left to try aside from the eggnog latte which I decided I wasn�t going to, was this strange new drink which the sinister men in long black coats and gloves told me was the Caf� Mocha.
The people behind the counter in Starbucks promised they would take money from me if I ordered more coffee, so I couldn�t refuse. I took a deep breath. My heart was racing. I had drunk so much coffee my hands were shaking and my eyes were wide and staring. My hair had started to fall out, but that�s another story. I climbed down from the wall, and walked over to the counter and I said to the young Italian lady in the green apron in the quietest shout I could suppress "�GIVE ME CAF� MOCHA�
The young lady flashed a smile at me and winked, while pressing the red button below the till, and served me up my first ever Caf� Mocha.
Sitting back up on the ceiling lights where I had been sitting since my second latte, I looked deeply into my caf� mocha, breathing in the delightful aroma of coffee and chocolate in the same mug. Outside, the fire brigade were assembling a long ladder. I gently lifted my giant Starbucks coffee cup to my lips, my hands protecting it and caring for it � the sacred juice within my cup was special and precious. I remember the first time that my bottom lip met the sweet taste of the caf� mocha as if I were re-living that moment again, my first nervous kiss of coffee, so tender and sweet. Then came that feeling I get inside, the unexpected rush of pure pleasure and sensation, when every fibre of my body is filled with an explosive twitching, uncontrollable, powerful, ecstatic, euphoric surge, and nothing else matters in the world but the touch of the coffee cup on your lips � I had my first mochasm.
For two years I have been sinning with my beverages. And it was wonderful. But lately I have not been feeling the same euphoric surge that I usually get with each taste of caf� mocha, and all because of a simple chat that I had with someone on the considerations of the caf� mocha. Is it right to make a hot chocolate and add coffee? Is that really a caf� mocha? Or make a coffee and add chocolate? Do you have to add both together? What if you just made a cup of hot water and added both? Would any of these really be a caf� mocha? I don�t know. I just don�t know.
All I know is that now instead of feeling so pleasurable like it should, I now get these cravings for salads and Hellmans. To be honest, I am in a desperate time. I have tried going to a psycho-mocha counsellor but that hasn�t helped. I tried going to the doctor to see if my tongue is treatable. I was prescribed something like viagra but for tongues, and I can drink caf� mocha and get some kind of enjoyment, but it just isn�t that same. Afterward I am always ready for more, instead of going limp as I should. I am physically able to drink coffee for up to ten hours. I am never satisfied.
I don�t know what to do. I�m so confused and frustrated. Right now the only pleasure I get is from sex.
Please help me.